No one – at least no one I know – gets married with the intention of getting a divorce. That’s because divorces are messy for everyone involved: you and your spouse, your kids, parents, friends, and yeah, even the people you see on the bus corner every morning or sit next to at church. Divorce leads to things such as figuring out who will see the children and when, who gets the dog, and for your friends eventually they will have to choose sides.
So, can we all agree, divorce is undesirable? While most people eventually overcome the sadness, fear, anger and pain that comes with divorce, most people aren’t the same. I can testify to that. While I try my hardest to be the same person, I will always – or at least for a long time – have concerns about trust and infidelity. I will also, find that I am attracted to the same type of person, and if I must generalize, that same type of person only perpetuates my fears. But, my reason for divorce, may not be the same as yours. So, before we delve hard into my life, let’s first look at the leading causes of divorce because while the reasons may be different, the end result is the same – divorce.
Leading Causes of Divorce
Before we get too far here, I would like to address the concept that at least 50% of marriages end in divorce – Looong buzzer…WRONG! Sorry, but if you’ve been touting that statistic as a justification for your divorce, you’re just not right. In fact (thankfully) that number is way off. In 2015 a study found that only about 16.9 women out of 1,000 would end up in a divorce. Other statistics based on different demographics can run as high as 25%. So, if you think your divorce is in the majority, you are incorrect. But, that’s a good thing both for marriage and your ability to move forward. This is because the top reasons for divorce are big deals when it comes to marriage also meaning that if you can resolve these problems you are among the 75%+ of couples who don’t divorce.
When I first realized that my spouse and I were heading for a divorce I have to tell you, I couldn’t imagine another reason other than infidelity that would have pulled us apart. And as I asked my old friend Google the top reasons for divorce, I have to say that we’d been through most and in the end, yes it was, infidelity that led to our split.
Though, while some are blinded by the obvious, more patient than others, or just haven’t notched enough red flags to go that route, others have little wiggle room when it comes to an irresponsible spouse or relationship. Admittedly I rank high on the prior and looking back must’ve had a gold star for patience in elementary school.
10. Abuse
9. Not ready to be married
8. Lack of equality
7. Lack of intimacy
6. Unrealistic expectations
5. Weight gain
4. Constant arguing
3. Lack of communication
2. Money
- Infidelity
The Divorce Dare 